1. “Did you take your medicine today?”
Yes, I did, but I can see you missed your it’s-none-of-my-damn-business pill.
2. “It’s not that hard to just focus.”
You know, I’m having no trouble focusing on how much I hate you right now. I’m cured!
3. “ADHD isn’t real.”
That is so weird. I’ll have to tell that to the multiple doctors that diagnosed me. What med school did you graduate from again?
4. “Calm down.”
Telling anyone to calm down is a guaranteed way to not get them to calm down.
5. “Everyone is a little ADHD.”
That’s exactly like saying everyone has depression because we all get sad. Which I really hope you know isn’t true either.
6. “My brother’s friend’s sibling’s dog’s pet sitter has ADHD so I totally understand.”
Are you like the ADHD Whisperer? You just “get” ADHD people?
7. “How could you forget that?”
Forgetting important details and letting everyone down is my favorite past time.
8. “I think I’m ADHD too.”
Just because I have ADHD doesn’t mean I’m qualified to diagnose you. But please, tell me more about how you couldn’t focus on your homework last night. Here’s a wild idea, call your doctor!
9. “Can I buy some of your meds?”
People like you are exactly why my pills are so hard to get in the first place. Oh, and I actually need these.
10. “You can’t have ADHD, you’re too smart.”
I know, right? Hard work never pays off.
11. “You need to act normal.”
You need to shove your face in a pile of shit.